Octopus Woman in Reverse

These are some of the cute little crab guys I drew for an Artist Trading Card swap at Artfest this year. I am so excited about going and "arting" for 4 straight days.

However, there are some good things showing up before then, too. I have the big 60th in March..Betsy is coming out! A wedding in the family, and I discovered a new singer/songwriter that I love - Larry Murante (google him). I have been getting things sorted and organized here - always makes me feel better. Sam and Aaron moved out last weekend. This is a big change. Ed and I are cleaning up and will be repairing the room to rent as a studio apartment for someone who really needs a place and can't afford to pay a lot.
I am also enjoying working with my former shrink from years ago to sort and organize my brain. I feel much freer inside already. Going to try St John's Wort for awhile in place of Prozac and go a more naturalistic health route. Most prescription drugs and I do not get along well.

ART

Well, this color seems to go well with the inchies on the left. These are from last years ARTFEST. I am making ATC's this year and probably nothing else. I shall be Octopi Woman in Reverse, and I must needs get to that immediately. If you can't tell, I have been watching British Murder Mysteries, Lord Peter Wimsey to be precise, on DVD. I seem to have this accent stuck in my head. Enough I say!

Down the street from our house a couple days ago.


Today is a much better day! We are done with the flood and blizzards and bp meds and I feel better! Been doing some drawing of sea monsters for ATC's and I like it when I can do stuff like that. Going to Artfest in April so it's time to start arting.

I realized the other day that I sometimes (ahem) don't blog when I'm feeling good. And I am feeling good and today I am remembering to blog. Not all of my life is gray and full of dread. In fact....it's probably better than I think since it has to reach a certain low for me to blog about it.

Think I might call a former therapist/friend today and see how much he charges - go in for a tune up. But if he's like $200.00 an hour forget it! No one's time is worth that much. I'll go and talk/feel with my sister-in-law...and pay her in pies or something. Maybe the other guy would take a pie. Wow, a $200.00 pie!

Going outside this morning to rake away some debris from around our yard. Piles of it around all the bushes and trees, large logs too, but I'll save those for Ed. We live surrounded by a giant sandbox now. Trying to decide whether to shower before going out or after - I guess maybe both since we have abundant hot water now and can use it; celebrate all the little things.(You know, like septic systems that work...)

Going to Greece tomorrow at my Mom's house for her 85th birthday. Should be fun and festive. "My Big Fat Greek 85th Birthday Party" More some other time....busy now.

Gray

I think I am having a bad reaction to Atenolol. My side effects include depression, cold extremities, runny nose, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, anger, weakness and lack of energy. There are other side effects too but maybe I am blessed not to have to deal with them. In many ways conventional medicine sucks! Even with Prozac, I feel like I have been hit by a truck on some days - like today. Absolutely no desire to do anything except eat sugar and sleep. Believe me - I am familiar with depression and this is it. So - I'll stop the A. and see how I feel after a couple days....it only stays in the system for @ 20 hours so it shouldn't take too long to know what is what. And my blood pressure is only borderline high anyway!!!!! I still think that if I can lose some more weight and keep it off it will take care of that issue. Anyone remember joy? (Not someone's dog either) I would like some. Some day, some time I might feel it; something besides gray. I feel so sad today when I think of the good feelings I might have had when all that snow was here and my kids were home for 10 days and I was stuck in my gray self and couldn't get out. I love snow! Well, here's to hoping things improve in a couple days.

Oops

By the way - and this was what I was going to write about - I ate SUGAR/FAT during the holidays and stopped exercising when I fell on some ice and broke my butt. New Years Revolutions: I want to be more independent. How to do that? Maybe just be kind, be firm and keep going. I want to eat healthy, exercise moderately and enjoy doing both. Back to the no sugar/fat...I felt good doing that.

Do something with "dread" from my repertoire of feelings. I hate "dread". Creeping dread... I must understand and name this-do some art around this feeling. Get to know it better; a piece of hard work is showing up.

"Just do it" has helped in the past.
There is more to life than correct cholesterol numbers.
When in doubt, look up. Stretch might be a good word for 2009.

Jan you wary

It's the second of 2009 already. I really got scared this holiday because my life seems to be disappearing right before my eyes. I realized that it seemed to be going by faster and faster all the time but some periods seemed to be gone before they arrived!!! Does this happen to everyone? I just can't believe it. I mean I was really scared! My sense of time or whatever the phenomenon is that is reality is slipping by even right now as I write this. Very weird. I have heard that the older you get the faster it goes.... hold on to your hat!

More snow this morning but it has melted and is now ice on the roads. Maybe I will become a nun in a few years but I don't know that God would have me. I am not a Bible fan - not the literal kind anyway...I think there are mistakes in there... after all He didn't write it! I can't even understand it. I don't like trying to read it. I'm tired and these thoughts are getting me into trouble and leading nowhere. More later.